I originally wanted to make a list of 36 things that I learned from college (and wanted to impart to my friends), but the list sputtered around 12. I recalibrated and thought maybe I ought to get it to 17 (you know, since I graduated in 2017). Alas, life got the better of me and I present to you 15 things. I hope you enjoy and share, if you find it useful.

  1. Go home if you want to. Many of the people I knew were reluctant to go back because of distance, cost, or fear of missing out while they’d be gone from campus and many of them came to regret not going home more. There’s nothing quite as relaxing as having dinner at home or at your favourite restaurant with your family. Family is unconditionally supportive in a way that cannot be replicated even with the best of friends.
  2. Say thank you. I remember reading something along these lines in “50 Things” on the MIT Admissions blog. There are truly so many people who have helped you get to where you are today. You’ve probably, at some point, been an absolute pain to these people – parents, teachers, friends – and they deserve some appreciation. Words will go farther than any tangible gift. Use your words. Share your thoughts. Tell them what they mean to you.
  3. Imposter syndrome is real. Don’t be afraid to talk about it, but also realize that if you try to “fake it until you make it,” chances are that no one is paying close attention and you’ll get away with it. (Fair warning: this strategy doesn’t work for academics or other situations that call for prerequisite knowledge.)
  4. Stay humble. Fighting imposter syndrome often calls for some artificial ego inflation, but make sure that you deflate your ego after you’re done whatever task you have at hand. Remember where you started from (“the bottom”) and never forget that it’s way too easy to alienate people if you happen to be in a position of privilege. Exercises in empathy will go a long way in maintaining your relationships.
  5. Remember that no matter where you go to college, the experiences you are having are probably relatable to most other college students. Use this to your advantage! Share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings to others so that you may relate to one another. There are very few other stages of life where it will be as easy to form bonds with others your age.
  6. Take everything with a grain of salt. People will spew advice at you from all directions (see above and below), and not all of it will work for you. Growing up is hard because there are fewer and fewer questions that have distinctly right and wrong answers. Most issues will have a smorgasbord of potential solutions, and it’ll be up to you to figure out which one jives with you.
  7. Think through your choices (but don’t overthink them, because undergrad is short). Most of the decisions I’ve made in college have made me really happy, but almost all of them have also made me unhappy at some point. It seems fairly inevitable that on some days you will be really happy with what you do, and on others, nothing will be right. Embrace that, and live in the moment.
  8. Let things go. Don’t sweat the small things. College is a much larger place than high school. When things go wrong, word doesn’t spread as quickly as you’re used to. If there’s something or someone who you don’t like, you can distance yourself. I often wouldn’t even run into the people that I knew on campus unless we had intentionally planned to meet up.
  9. Try to give more than you get. One of my high school teachers once said that in a relationship, it’s all too easy to think that you’re putting in more than the other person. (In other words, we’re always biased in our own favour.) It’s highly likely that both parties feel slighted by the other, when perhaps they are both contributing 50/50. So…always give, even when it feels like you are already doing more than half the work. Chances are the other person feels the same way you do. This applies to romantic relationships, friendships, and even just acquaintanceships.
  10. Take the time to talk to everyone – professors, dons/RAs/tutors, peers, strangers, even homeless people. Everyone has a story. Get to know them as people. In particular, remember that the gap between you and everyone else is (for the first time in your life) smaller than ever. The world doesn’t view you as a kid anymore – you’re a “young adult” now.
  11. Make/maintain friends beyond campus. Don’t let your school life become your whole life. Campus can be an incredibly suffocating space at times and it is powerful to have other friends to whom you can turn. They’ll offer perspective, a reality check, and a shoulder to lean on.
  12. Take time to travel and get off campus. My semester abroad pushed me farther beyond my comfort zone than any semester on campus had. I learned about myself and better understood my only dreams, hopes, and aspirations for the future. Even while I was studying on campus, I always made sure to get out of the campus bubble from time to time and interact with people from other backgrounds – political, socioeconomic, etc. Often, it was getting off campus that made me appreciate being on campus all the more. (Absence does make the heart grow fonder.)
  13. Take breaks. Ask for help. Relax. Destress. It can be extremely hard to make time for this, especially as you try to make the most of four years, but remember that if you don’t step back from time to time, you may not perform at your best.
  14. Share your thoughts with people. Don’t be afraid to speak up with your opinion. Of course, do it in a polite and respectful manner after having thought through your opinion thoroughly. If people don’t like what you say, they should be given the chance to respond. If they choose to not like you for how you feel, then maybe you should reconsider the people with whom you surround yourself. This can range from you not wanting your roommate to sit on your bed to you disagreeing with someone’s political stance.
  15. Buy more underwear so you can do laundry less frequently. Enough said.